Troupers

"What? What's goin' on?" Judy HAD to know. She knew Shauna better than anyone else there, and knew that if she got stirred up over a phone call that something BIG was happening. By this time, all the ladies were gathered around her waiting to hear the scoop. Smoke started rolling from the kitchen area. Because of all the excitement, Kim left the grilled cheese on high and the soup was boiling over too. The smoke alarm went off and Doris ripped it off the wall and before she smashed it with her boot she, just for orneriness, laid it beside Ricks and Dicks ears for a few seconds. "Haahahaha, how's that? Can you hear that? Smoke alarm works, doesn't it? Hahahaha!!!" With that, she gave a quick stomp and the noise ceased. " Okay Shauna, Give us then news!" Patsy pleaded. Shauna gave a disgusted sigh and started in; "Those people are idiots!!! I rattled off our alarming news to them and they just started laughing and told me "APRIL FOOLS"!!! I don't know who runs that place but I'm going to tell their superiors about this! We have a full blown emergency here and they just want to tell me "April Fools" and then they hung up on me!!!! " Shauna was red in the face and ready to blow a gasket when a park ranger car pulled up in the drive-way. Kim was still thinking about this April fool thing and asked, "can you play an April fools joke in October? Just doesn't seem the same to me." She was getting used to "the look" from her fellow campers so it didn't faze her when they gave her the look and then ignored her to turn their attention to the rangers at the door.
"Hi ladies! Glad to see you all here together! Oh, we see you have some extra "guests" as well. Hi Jonas, Rick, Dick. Boy, it sure is a beautiful day, huh?" At that, Patsy and Judy had to practically pull Shauna off of Ranger Tom. His partner, Ranger Regina, just stood there with a smirk on her face. "I'll wipe that stupid grin off your face if you don't tell us what's been going on around here!" threatened Shauna. She wasn't fooling.
It finally got quiet and the rangers felt that it was time to straighten everything out. "Okay ladies"Tom started, "Hey, we're not ladies, we're the HAC's!" corrected Patsy. "Oh, excuse me. I didn't know. Okay, HAC's, we here at the park know that you have been here many times over the years. You know the trails, know the rules and have always followed them to a tee. You always clean up the cabin so nicely. You are basically, perfect campers for us. We are always glad to have you." The girls glanced at each other with smiles and had to agree. They WERE pretty darn perfect. It was nice to be noticed once in a while."We ARE good, but what does that have to do with all that has happened to us?" Judy wanted to know. She had her note pad and pen. She was getting this all down, by golly! "What's with all this fluff and stuff you're telling us? We know all that already." Doris was not into warm and fuzzy talk. She wanted them to get to the meat of the subject. "Come on Gomer, tell us about these puds here and why they've caused us so much trouble!" Patsy found Doris' rough and tumble way hilarious. She laughed saying, "Yeah Gomer! Get on with the story! Hurry up before I pee my pants!!!"
"Okay ladi.. I mean, HAC's, we really like you ladies and love having you stay at our wonderful park. We also know that you're a pretty tough group. We have a local acting troupe that puts on plays and so forth and.. "OOOoooo! You want us to act for you!?" asked Kim excitedly. "No,no, no not really!"Tom continued, "but we".. "Kim and I are PROFESSIONALS!!! We've acted before and were the stars of the show!" Judy was obviously proud of the parts they played on the boat murder mystery. "So, you were in a Murder Mystery play? Hmmm, funny!!" Regina said. "What's so funny about that?" wondered Shauna. "These are my friends you're making fun of!" "OH! I'm not making fun!!! I'm just now seeing the coincidence!" Everyone was getting more confused by the minute. "Oh, for cryin' out loud, would you people get to the point!!?!!" Doris needed to get home to her horses but couldn't leave until the truth was out. "And I still haven't got to go to the bathroom. Let's get on with it!" agreed Patsy.
"Alright, you're probably going to mad but you ladies were all a part of a murder mystery week-end!!!" They were too stunned to speak so Ranger Tom continued.. "We were looking for a fun bunch of people to take part in our "play" only we didn't want the people we chose to know that they were a part of it!" "Uh, WHAT?" uttered Kim, "how can we have a "part" if we don't even know it?" "That was supposed to be the beauty of it. You all take a natural part of our elaborate scheme, only you don't know it. The "actors" all play along with you and even we don't have any idea where the story will lead." Judy got into it, " I get it!!! What a neat idea! I wish I knew what was going on though, I would have acted better!!!" "So, I'm assuming Jonas, Rick, Dick and you two are all part of this acting troupe?" guessed Shauna. "Yep, we sure are. Could you untie us now?" " Was that Rick or Dick asking?" questioned Doris. She still couldn't believe that this was all just an act. "Actually, that's David Crandellson and his twin brother Robert. And "Jonas" there, is actually Joe Walton. I'm Steven Peterson and this is Cindy Horner. We all had a part with moving the canoes, messing with your trucks and all the other tricks we pulled on you! You guys were great!!! We couldn't have done a better jobs ourselves!" " It was a little scary having you mad at us though. We weren't going to let it go much farther or someone would've been hurt, namely US! " admitted David and Robert. Jonas/Joe spoke up, "On behalf of the Great Lake Acting Troupe, we dub you all honorary members and we've granted you the gift of free camping in these wonderful campground cabins twice a year for as long as you want!" They all agreed that that was mighty nice, but with all the excitement they'd been through, they might be camped out. "Well," Judy thought, "Maybe, just maybe we'll be up for another vacation in the spring. Just promise us that the next time will be BORING!!!"

A What???

Judy pulled a somewhat bedraggled bag of Yogos out of her bag. "Anybody want a Yogo?" she asked cheerily. Kim busted out laughing, "Yogos? At a time like this?? We have 2 men hogtied on our kitchen floor, Jonas telling us tales we don't know we should believe, our vehicles won't start and you're eating Yogos???" "Well, I was gettiing hungry and wasn't sure when we would get lunch. Whose turn is it to cook anyway? asked Judy, "Besides that, I don't figure those fellows are going anywhere till we untie them and Doris can for sure handle Jonas if he gets woofy with us." "So," said Patsy, "I say we should call the other Rangers and work on that jigsaw puzzle till they get here. Or maybe fix lunch. Judy does have a point, we do need to eat." "Sounds like a plan to me," agreed Kim, "I'll get started on lunch if you all will help me move these two lumps outta the way. Jonas can have a seat here at the table and Doris can keep an eye on the hogtied two. Shauna, could you go call the Ranger Station and explain our situation?" "On my way," said Shauna as she headed out the door.
In less than a minute Shaua was back in the cabin, holding her phone out in front of her with a quizzical look on her face. "You guys aren't gonna believe this," She said............

Twin Boys

"It was from that brunette, Micki. All the memories of the week we'd had came flooding back and I could hardly understand the note I was trying to read it so fast. What it amounted to in a nutshell" - "It came in a nutshell?" asked Kim. Doris shot her another one of those squinted eyeball looks and Kim said, "Sorry, Jonas, you go on with your story. I won't say another word. Not ONE more word outta me, no sirree." Jonas continued, "Well, it seems Micki had been engaged to Nick but was having second thoughts so she came down here to camp for a week to clear her mind. She met me and that decided her. She figured she better go on home and call it off with Nick. Problem was, when she got back he'd set up a Surprise Ceremony. She walked into a house full of relatives and friends and a wedding gown all ready for her to slip into. She figured she better just go with that plan instead of upsetting all the other apple carts and she'd always wanted to let me know but just couldn't bring herself to send the many notes she had written. Turns out she should have trusted her instincts cause Nick turned out to be not such a good guy after all and soon got worse. Course the boys came along 'bout 9 months after the wedding. They kept her pretty busy but things with her and Nick just got worse and worse." Patsy spoke up, "What'd she name the boys?" From the floor came a chorus of two, "Rick and Dick." Patsy looked at Jonas and then the 2 men on the floor. "You mean," she pointed at the floor, "That's them?" "Yes," answered Jonas, "That's them." "How'd they get HERE?" Patsy asked. Patiently Jonas said, "That's what I am trying to tell you." "See guys, I am NOT the only one who interrupts. Patsy just spoke right up there and Jonas was trying.." Kim quieted at a look from Shauna. Again, Jonas continued, "When I got the note she was planning her escape and was hoping against hope I would remember her. REMEMBER HER? How could I have ever forgotten her? I welcomed her and the boys and we set up camp, so to speak right there over the General Store and had a wonderful life. Once Nick saw she wasn't going back he set about getting custody of the boys. He failed but he sure made our lives miserable and we worried like crazy whenever the boys went to visit him that he would leave the country with them. The boys grew like weeds out here and my land I have never seen two more opposite brothers. Rick, there, doesn't have a mean bone in his body and would give you his last dollar. Dick, now, Dick doesn't have a mean bone in his body either, but he would gladly TAKE that last dollar. He's always gotta make it rich quick scheme, especially if somebody would just loan him the money. When he got to be about 16, he went to spend a couple weeks with Nick and just didn't come home. Got himself into a few scrapes with the law and ended up a guest of the state for a few years. Then he bounced around from place to place until about 2 years ago he wound up back home with us. You know how rumours and the gossip fly in small places where everybody thinks they know everybody else's bidness so it hasn't been easy for him but I am pretty proud to say he's been doin' a right nice job around here. Between the 2 boys Micki and I have been able to pass on most of our work load and we're even planning a trip to Alaska. On one of them cruisin' ships. So as far as you gettin' all worked up over Dick, I reckon it was just a waste of time. You might as well turn them fellers loose and I'll show you how to tell 'em apart."
The girls silently traded glances but you could see their minds whirling. Finally Judy spoke up, "Well, if Dick is such a good boy now, how's come he let us think he was Rick?" "Yeah, said Kim, "And why did he have to ake his phone call outside so we wouldn't hear? Are you SURE, Jonas, that he's turned the tides and is living right? Cause if he hasn't we can have Doris toss him over her shoulder and dump in the truck and as soon as we get it started we can haul him in. Or Judy can take him in in the mini bike." "HA! Not alone, I'm not," spoke up Judy, "One of you has to go with me!!" "And where would we ride, the handle bars?" asked Shauna. "No, silly, I have a cart in my truck." "Now Girls," came from Jonas, "You can trust me. You know that. Just let the boys go and we'll all have a nice game of Monopoly."
"Don't do it," came from the floor. The girls eyes all jumped to the speaker. "Don't let him loose," said one of the men with a toss of the head toward the other man, "Dick and Jonas aren't what they seem. Most of what Jonas told you is true, especially about Mom and us moving here and then Dick moving back with Dad, but there's more he's not telling and it would be in your best interest to leave him tied right where he is." Jonas spoke again, "Now Dick, you just stop that. Things have been going so well for you and here you are causing trouble again." Girls you go ahead and let them boys loose. That's Dick acting like he's Rick, again. You just let them boys loose." "Call the other rangers," said the man on the floor. "Now, let's don't be causing trouble for everybody," said Jonas, "You just turn them boys loose and we'll go on home and straighten this out."
The girls looked to each other for suggestions. Judy dug around in her bag, finally saying, "There you are," to whatever item she had in her hand, "I've been looking for you." And she pulled..............

Jonas' Story

"He seemed just fine to me. Maybe a little concerned about these two yahoos though" answered Kim. "Hey! I take offense to the yahoo thing!" contested one of the Rick/Dicks. Doris gave a boot to both of them, just for the sake of fun, "Did I say you could speak? No, I didn't so keep quiet or I'll boot you where it REALLY hurts!" Shauna gave her a high 5 for that one and begged them both to say something. Anything! "Come on big boys! I want to see grown men cry!" Patsy sat at the table taking all the action in, hankie in hand to wipe away her tears of laughter."I love this! I wouldn't trade you guys for anything! This has been the worst and best week-end of my life!!" She continued chuckling and then they heard the putter of the golf cart. "Finally!! Where have you been?" Shauna scolded as she stomped out the door. Judy, all smiles, apologised and explained; "As soon as Kim left, we took off behind her in Jonas' cart. I convinced Jonas to take my short cut through the woods and then I remembered that I left my bag on his counter. We went back to get my bag and it wasn't there. So we searched high and low to find it. We gave up because we knew you were all waiting for us and would get worried so we left and once again took my short cut which Jonas said was no short cut and he was right so we had to take the real trail and here we are but I NEED my bag! WHEW!! Now I'm out of breath!" "I have your bag right here. You left it on the mini-bike since we were in such a rush." Kim held up the bag as Judy swooped in and started going through it doing a quick inventory. "OH good!!! My book on how to free clutter from your purse is still here! And my swiss knife is here...who took the tweezers from my swiss knife?!?... oh, here they are. Nevermind! We're all good. Hey Jonas, tell us what you know about these two yahoos!" "Enough with the yahoo thing again!" whined Rick/Dick. He whined even more because Doris gave him a swift kick in the thigh, "Next time it'll be higher and you'll really howl," she warned.
"Okay, now that we're all here let's straighten this whole mess out." Shauna was taking control of the situation. SOMEONE had to! They all got situated and waited for the story as Jonas cleared his throat..."It all started back in '62 when I was a young man" Kim spoke up, "you wouldn't have been THAT young. You would've been, what, 30 something?" All eyes glared upon her. It was the "shut-up" glare she was accustomed to. She shrugged and added "I was just SAYING. Geez! Anyway, sorry Jonas, keep going. I'll shut up. Really. Don't worry about me. I won't say another word." "Please continue with your story Jonas," Doris added while she gave Kim the eye. Once again, he cleared his throat and started his story...."It all started back in '62. I was a young Ranger in these woods. Loved my job and the people and the community. There was a lovely brunette came to stay in these cabins for a couple of weeks. I knew there was a story there but was afraid to ask. We came across each other a lot that first week. It was love at first sight, I s'pect. We were inseparable that next week then she was gone. Like the wind. Never heard a word and after a while I never expected to. Then about 5 years later I got a note"..................

Questions, questions

Entertaining wasn't exactly the choice word but unusual would fit the bill. When the three walked back into the cabin, there, wallered up in the dirty throw rug was one of the Rick/Dicks with his face smashed to the floor while the other Rick/Dick had his legs looped around the others neck in a choke hold. The one on the bottom had tried to make an escape while the other twin made a daring capture. At least that's how it appeared but who could trust them and how could the girls favor one over the other when they couldn't tell them apart?

"Alright guys, nice try! Now you didn't think you could get past us did you?" chided Doris. "We are not your everyday wimpy women!" added Patsy. "Yeah, actually, we're so tough, sometimes we wonder if we ARE women after all!!" Shauna reinforced nodding her head. "Don't mess with us, suckers! We've been through an awful lot this week-end and we're gittin' a little cranky!!!" Patsy reflected on the not-wimpy-women phrase and had to correct the fact that THEY weren't wimpy but Judy and Kim were a different story. "HEY! I heard that!!" It was Kim. She and Judy had made it to Old Jonas and quickly explained the problem to him. Kim brought back the mini-bike while Jonas offered to bring Judy back on his golf cart. "I know the perfect question for Rick which will prove he is the real one!" Patsy excitedly announced. "Rick, a few years ago we had a problem at one of our cabins. What was the problem with our cabin the time we had to move from one to the other and which cabins were involved?" The three others gave a collected "OOOoooo, that's a good one!" while they waited for one of the Ricks to answer the question. Then, before anyone could answer the question posed, Kim noticed that Judy and Jonas weren't back yet. "They should be back here by now. I wonder what's taking so long?" "Yeah, his golf cart goes faster than that little mini-bike" laughed Pats. "I don't like this. Something just doesn't feel right" Shauna was sounding concerned. "Jonas seemed alright didn't he? He's just a nice old man. Right?" Doris was asking for reassurance. "Well"...........

WHO are YOU?

Doris looked from Rick to Dick and back again. "Hey, there's two of 'em," she said, squinting her eyes and wrinkling her forehead. "That's what we were gonna tell ya but haven't had a chance," piped up Kim, "Jonas told us that Dick had been locked up and we thought he was impersonating Rick and figured he was up to no good so that's why we captured him!" From the floor came an out of breath, "Rick. I am Rick." "No he's not," said the Rick at the door, "I am Rick. That's Dick and I have been chasing him all over the place trying to catch him!" The girls looked at the men. Then they looked at each other and then at the men again. "Well," Shauna said, "I can only think of one thing to do." "Me, too," said Judy, 'GET HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And with that the girls pounced on the one at the door and before you could say Whistlestop Jiggle Pig, they had him hogtied and sitting back against the kitchen wall facing the Rick/Dick on the floor. "Now what?" asked Patsy, "We can't keep them here." "You betcha can't," said the first to be tied up man, "I'll press charges for kidnapping right after I press charges for assault." "Yeah, yeah, yeah," sneered Doris, "We're shakin' in our boots." "Well, I think somebody should go get Jonas. He should be able to tell these boys apart," said Patsy, " And the rest should stay here to watch these two." Judy leapt up and grabbed her keys, "I'LL GO," she said quickly, "But somebody better come with me." "Wait," said Kim, " how about Patsy and Shauna go while you and I and Doris stay here. I can think of a couple questions we might be able to ask that only Ranger Rick would have the answer." "You're right, " agreed Judy as she tossed her keys to Patsy, "Hurry up you two and we'll hold the fort here. If you'll watch these boogers Doris, Kim and I will compare notes outside and be right back with a few questions." "I'll watch 'em all right! I hope one of em moves cause I've gotta new choke hold I've been wanting to practice," followed by laughter. Patsy and Shauna had made it to the truck but were just sitting in it. "What's wrong?" hollered Kim. "Don't know," came the response, "It won't start!!" "Did you turn the key?" "YES," said Patsy, " We did turn the key. Duh." Kim and Judy headed out to the truck to see what they could figure out. Meanwhile, Doris came to the door and said, "What are you guys doing?" Kim explained that the truck wouldn't start so Doris said, "don;t mess with it now, just take mine." The girls decided that was a good idea so Doris' keys were passed on to Patsy. Shauna and Patsy got up in Doris' truck, put their seatbelts on and sat there. Doris' truck wouldn't start either. With a grim look, Shuana got out of the truck and marched towards the cabin. "Where ya goin'?" asked Kim. "To have a little chat with the boys inside. Doris, you come with. I might need your help." Judy was messing around the back of her truck and as the others turned to look they saw her pulling a minibike out of the bed. "What are YOU doing?" came from Kim. "Going for help," said Judy. Wanna go along?" "Sure," answered Kim. Judy fired it up. Kim climbed on the back and off they went. Patsy watched them drive off with her head tilted and a puzzled look in her eye then turned to watch Shauna and Doris going thru the cabin door. "Shoulda had them bring a six pack back, " she said to herself, "We could use it." Then she headed for the cabin to see what was happening in there. SHe was sure of one thing. It would be entertaining.

The girls were extremely antsy waiting for 6:00 to come around. They piddled around with the jigsaw puzzle, absentmindedly picking up and trying various shapes in the partially finished corners of the polar bears in the snow scene. Was Doris coming back? they each wondered. As Shauna glanced at her watch for the 300th time, they all happily gazed toward the door when they heard feet plodding on the wooden porch. Patsy rose from the chair to open the door for Doris. She was laughing as she swung open the door and shouted "It's about time you showed up! Where have you been?" Boy was she surprised! It wasn't Doris. It was none other than Ranger Dick! "Well Ranger Rick!"Judy greeted, "we are so, uh, glad you came back!" she added as she grabbed Shauna's arm for support. "Uh, yeah, you still owe me the rest of a game of monopoly" Patsy quickly said. She acted eager to see Rick/Dick but inside her legs were jello. Kim cowered in the corner of the couch and tried to slip off to the linai but Shauna reached for her and while her teeth were clenched she managed a fake smile and said "Kim! Ranger Di- I mean, Rick is here to play more games. I think you should FIRST show him the little leak under the kitchen sink!" "Oh, no, JUDY is the one that discovered it I think SHE can show him!" Patsy started snickering at that suggestion. Dick said " I don't have any tools on me and that's maintenence's responsibility anyway." "You've helped us before" piped up Kim, just now catching on to what Shauna was plotting. Judy started to get brave too, "I've got tools in my bag that I'll let you borrow. You crawl down under there and I'll get your supplies!" She was excited now. She had confidence in whatever plan Shauna had in mind. Patsy and Shauna moved the kitchen table so Ranger D had room to scoot under the sink. The girls were all in the kitchen area now watching Dick crawl on his hands and knees. When he was in as far as he could go Patsy yelled "NOW!!" and all there was, was a flurry of hands and feet and pots and pans rattling and Dick yelling "stop, stop, no, no!!" They almost had him pummeled to tears when they heard someone yell above all the commotion; "What are you guys doing!?! You need help? HERE! I've got a lead rope in my pocket!!!" It was Doris! She'd come at a perfect time. The girls had him in a headlock, an armlock and an anklelock. It was definitely due to strength in numbers. Doris ran over and gave the final blow to Dicks ego by wrestling his arms behind his back and proceeded to hog tie his arms to his legs and when he was incapacitated completely they all released their grips from his shirt, pants and hair and gave collected breaths. Shauna's shirt was torn, Patsy's hair was as if she'd been in a wind tunnel, Kim had lost a shoe and an earring and Judy's glasses were a bit crooked but her water wings came through just fine. "Water wings!!!" Shauna laughed. "When did you put those on?!" "When I went to get my tools I figured I'd better put them on for safety's sake. You never know, Dick could have thrown us all in the lake, never to be seen again. " They all just stared at her for a few seconds then Patsy broke the silence with, "Hey, are we all just gonna lay here on the floor with Dick or are we gonna call Ranger Rick and tell him we caught his evil twin?"
They all got up and brushed themselves off while Doris double checked her square knots. She smacked Dick in the face and chuckled just for fun. "Hey! Why did I tie up Ranger Rick and why did I just enjoy smacking him?" she finally wondered. "And why did you say we'll call Ranger Rick when he's right here? And who's this Dick you keep talking about?" "We'll explain it all while we wait for the REAL Rick to get here." Kim assured her. "Yeah, then I still wanna go ask Jonas some more questions. I think he knows even more about this than Rick does." surmised Judy. "Jinkies Daphne, we'll get right on it!" Laughed Shauna. Just then they heard Rick stomping on the porch. He didn't look happy..........at all..........................