Because..................

"I smell aftershave. We might be a bit manly but I don't think we wear aftershave. Especially old man aftershave." Kim sniffed the air again. "It's Avon's wild country. No, I think it's Old Spice."She continued sniffing and made her way to the kitchen area. All of a sudden she hollered "SOMEONE'S been eating my CHEERIOS!!" By this time all the weary campers had made their way to the scene of the "crime". "How would you know some one's been in your cheerios?" asked Judy snidely. "The way you eat them non-stop, the box is never closed anyway!" Doris, who was checking out the refrigerator for any clues to this latest mystery, straightened up and announced , "Oh yeah. This is real nice. I have to race in 12 hours and I can't so much as even have a nice cold glass of my Nestea. Who drank my tea? I don't ask for much. I came on this camping trip thinking I could rest up and get away and now I can't even have a nice cold glass of tea!!! "Calm down! Happy campers my foot!!" yelled Shauna. "We'll never figure out what has been happening here unless we all calm down!" At that moment they all sensed that there was an extra "camper" in the cabin. All eyes turned to the hallway. Scuffing sleepily from the bedroom and scratching her head was.................. PATSY!!!! "Where'd you come from?" asked Judy excitedly. "From the bedroom" stated Patsy, simply. Judy continued, "No, I mean when did you get here? How did you find us?" "Well, I call you everyday so it's not exactly a big puzzle to find out where you were" chuckled Patsy. "PUZZLE!" jumped in Kim, "We haven't worked on our puzzle yet!" All eyes glared her way so she decided to make Doris some tea and stay out of trouble. They could work on the puzzle later. Shauna gave Patsy a welcoming hug, "I'm glad we have someone else to share our miserable, I mean, exciting camping trip with!" Doris sat at the table drinking her fresh glass of tea and thought of something. "Does Patsy wear aftershave?" "No but I think she wears some of that fancy doggie perfume sometimes. What is it called, Pucchi ? Woof Lauren?Hahahahaaha!!!!" teased Judy. "Why do you ask if she wears aftershave?" Shauna wondered. Doris continued, "Well, Kim with the nose, said she smelled Old Spice and I did too. What's up with that? Where'd that come from? I know I"M not wearin' it!" "Did anyone check under the beds and in the closet? asked Judy nervously. "What about the lanai? That's where he is!!! He's on the lanai!!!" She grabbed the closest thing to her for a weapon which happened to be a little 3 ring tablet of paper "What are you gonna do with that?" laughed Shauna "Beat him to a pulp with the spiral binder?!!!!" All Judy could come back with was"You'd be surprised what I can do with paper!!" They were all a bit intrigued with the scent in the cabin so they bunched together to see what or who they could find.....

Justice

"Some one get out and see what we hit" said Kim. " You hit it you get out and look" said Doris. All the girls looking around at each other finally Shauna said "I'll do it" and she timidly looked through the window to see if anything was immediately going to get her she opened the door slowly. She heard and saw nothing. " Your gonna have to get out" said Judy I'm going I'm going you... you wanna go? said Shauna? "Who me? no not me your doing fine" replied Judy. Shauna swung her legs out and crept ever so slowly and quietly to the back looking all around as she went. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Shauna cracked up laughing so loud all the girls piled out and ran around to see what was going on. "I am sorry it is really not funny but I had to laugh" said Shauna as she pointed down. There lay the racoon with the yogos pack still in his mouth and a graham cracker clenched in his paw he must of gotten spooked by the bear too. "Justice" said Judy "Steal my yogos and crackers will ya that's what you get communist! added Judy. Relieved they all piled back in the vehicle and headed for the cabin. Exhausted from the evenings never ending adventure they couldn't wait to get back inside the cabin and crawl in bed. Arriving at the cabin they made sure they approached the correct one and found the door unlocked. Too tired to argue about who forgot to lock up on the way out they all piled in their places and passed out with their clothes on. Kim sat straight up with a jolt at 7 a.m. "Someones been in our cabin!" she exclaimed. "How do you know?" all the girls were asking as they were rubbing the sleep from their eyes. Because ...

It'sA Bear????

"Push the button! PUSH THE BUTTON!!" Kim shouted as she fumbled in her pocket for the keys. Shauna spoke up, "YOU have the keys!!" "I know I know but I can't get them out of my pocket." Doris, the brave heart of the group had shoved past even Judy who had been in the lead and was waiting impatiently at the truck for the others. Kim triumphantly pulled the key from her pocket and pressed the button. "HONK HONK HONK," "SHUT OFF THAT ALARM," Shauna shouted over the honking horn, "HIT THE UNLOCK BUTTON!!!" "Ohh Ohh, I'm tryin' I'm tryin'!!! STUPID THING!!!" came from Kim. The horn stopped. Judy dug frantically through her bag. "What are YOU lookin' for?" asked Doris. "I don't know,I don't know. But I am sure it is in here," Judy answered as she continued to dig. The door clicked. All the girls piled in lickety split. Just as the last door slammed they all exhaled in relief. "A bear," said Doris, chuckling, "You actually thought you saw a bear, Judy? Well that coon WAS a bit intimidating!" Judy said, "A BEAR." "That's what I said," said Doris. "NO, A BEAR!!!!!!!!!" Judy was pointing out the window. "OH OH," squealed Kim, "IT IS A BEAR!" Shauna, who had been looking at Judy, turned her head at Kim's words. "Huh, look, it IS a bear. Imagine that. After the night we've had I wouldn't be surprised to see Bigfoot in a bonnet with a picnic basket wander through this clearing." "I told you I told you I told you guys there was a bear and he took my bag. I told you!! And you left me here alone all by myself and I had to pee and I just wanna go home,. to my bed in my safe house without bears!!!" Judy whimpered.
"Well, you're gonna have to settle for a cabin and your sleeping bag tonight," said Doris, "cause it's almost morning anyway, and I have to race tomorrow night." "You mean TONIGHT, don't you," asked Shauna."Well whatever, I just need sleep" added Doris. "I need cheerios!" piped in Kim "and my oolong tea. I'm getting a headache." "Tea?" asked Judy "I have some right here in my bag! Do you need regular, decaf, constant comment, earl gray? Wait, wait, I DO have oolong right here!" Kim whipped around to reach for the tea bag only to see Judy sitting there, hand in the bag, wearing her headband with google balls on top.Shauna, doubled over in laughter, gasped out, "I suppose you even have hot tea water in there?" "Well, not HOT water but I have this mug you plug into the 12 volt plug to heat it. Here!" She handed the mug and a bottle of water to KIm. Doris took over the tea making while Kim started the truck and put it in reverse. They all felt a bump. Shauna said without daring to look back, "Don't tell me. I'm afraid to look. It's Bigfoot, in a bonnet carrying a picnic basket isn't it?" "No!!! It's............................................

About that bear

"Well we have no choice we have to hunt down the bear" said Doris "we can't get in the truck or in the cabin with out keys". "Maybe we'll be lucky and it will have dropped the bag or at least the keys out of it while rummaging through it looking for food" said Kim. Judy still had her head lamp placed firmly on her head and her water wings on from the canoe ride the other girls had their flashlights and lanterns so off they went in the direction they last heard the whistle. SHREEEEE SHREEEEeeee there the whistle went again but the noise tapered off. The girls hurried along the path the last whistle sounded like it was moving farther away. Kim leading the way tripped over something which brought them all to a screeching halt piling into one another. Shining their flashlights down they saw a book titled "How not to get lost in the woods". "That's my book it was in my bag! said Judy. "I'm surprised" Shauna said Sarcastically "Only you would bring a self help book camping" she added. "Well it might have helped if my bag hadn't gotten stolen by a bear!" cried Judy as she scooped it up and clutched it close to her heart. On down the path they went looking from side to side as they went. "There ahead I hear something rustling" said Doris me too said the rest of the girls. As they all raised their lights to shine down the path there eating graham crackers and yogos sat a RACOON! Whistle and bag partially dumped out in front of it. BEAR? said Doris That is the smallest bear I have ever seen as she looked over at Judy. They all moved in slowly to see how it was going to react hoping it would frighten and run off but leave the goods behind. Judy grabbed a big stick and started making whacking noises on the ground as they moved closer. It was enough to scare the coon and he left the bag and whistle and scampered off down the path with a bag of yogos hanging out of his mouth. Judy grabbed her bag and they started picking up the things that had been dumped out, a magnifying glass, the keys to kims truck, and ink pen, ibuprofen,twine, a can of tuna, a head band with antennae and balls attached, a lady bug spotted flip flop, suspenders, each item odder than the next and the whole bag had not been dumped. The girls looked at each other with each bizarre item and passed them along to Judy who did not try to explain just gleefully grabbed them and stuffed them back in her bag. "Is that it asked Kim"? "I don't see anything else" said Judy "Do you have the keys to the cabin" asked Shauna "Yep they were left in the bag" said Judy. Just about that time a huge branch cracked and there was big movement in the woods ahead and on the right. "WHAT WAS THAT" they all said looking at one another. "It's the bear said Judy RUNNN"! She was more afraid of what was behind her than the dark ahead she already headed down the path in a full run the rest of the girls following along behind not waiting to see what it was for sure.

"Hey! Woo Hooooo!!" Came a frantic but relieved voice from under the truck cap. "I'm under here! The truck cap is snapped tight and I can't get out!" What the heck are you doing under there to begin with?"laughed Shauna. Kim and Doris each took a side of the tarp cap and unsnapped Judy to freedom. "Thank the Lord you finally came. What took you guys so long? Leave me in the truck to die out here all by myself all for the sake of some night-time fun, will ya? By the way, I went out in the woods to go pee ALL BY MYSELF, with only the safety of my whistle , and a bear" "A BEAR!!" the other 3 chimed in, "Yes a bear tried to eat me!! I nearly fell down on my face trying to run and pull my thermal underwear at the same time!!" Judy gave an animated display of how she was attempting to run and pull at the same time. The others were in stiches by this time. Kim had to wipe her nose on Shauna's sleeve and Doris was gasping for air while leaning on the still locked truck. Shauna put her arm around Judy's shoulder in a mock- comforting gesture while trying to catch her breath. "I'm not kiddin'!!!" Judy insisted, "there's a bear out there blowing on MY safety whistle!!! Didn't you hear it?!!?" "We heard YOU blowing on it them there was a few minutes between blows" Shauna recalled. "Yeah, those last toots you heard weren't me" assured Judy, "it was the bear!! It has my multi-purpose bag too!!" "Well, you can kiss that goodbye" added Doris, now able to breath. "There's no one here dumb enough to take on a bear just to retrieve your maps and water wings." Shauna, tired and over the hilarious moment said, "Okay guys, I say it's finally time to go back to the cabin. It'll be morning soon and we haven't even gone to bed yet. Judy, you have the keys, unlock the door." "No, I don't have 'em. Kim has the keys. It's her truck!" "Uh, no Judy, I don't have them. YOU wanted to stay in the truck so I left them with you!" The look on Judy's face was priceless.... "Um, I, um, well, yeah, you're right. See, they are kinda in the bag for safe keeping. When I went to go pee, I had to lock up so no one would get in there. So I took the keys and put them in my bag. I squatted, and that's when the bear came waltzing up to me." "Well girls, are any of you wearing an under-wire bra?" Doris demanded. Nothing but puzzled looks came to their faces. "I saw on an older movie where they unlocked a car door with a bra. So, anybody?"

She Was RIGHT THERE a Minute Ago

SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
"WHAT is that noise?" asked Shauna. SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Kim, from her seat in the front of the canoe, said through her gales of laughter, "It's Judy. She musta woke up and found us missing from the truck so she is blowing her emergency whistle to alert us. Or somebody." "Emergency whistle? What is that?" asked Doris.
SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! "Wait a minute, HOOTY HOOT, HOOTY HOOT!! There that will let her know we are close by. Anyway, years ago when we first started camping out, Judy passed out whistles to everybody with instructions to use them whenever we were in danger. This is the first time I remember anyone using one." "I didn't see any whistle around her neck," said Doris. "The bag," said Shauna, "She must have had it in her bag." As the girls talked they were making their way back to shore, Kim and Shauna in one canoe while Doris piloted the second canoe. "That was kind of a nice voyage, wasn't it? The water is calm and the moon shining through the trees makes you feel all calm inside," mused Kim. "I still think we shoulda had a race,.I coulda taken you two - easy. Woulda been like taking candy from a baby," answered Doris. "Well," said Shauna from the back of the canoe, "I still feel kind of guilty about leaving Judy alone in the truck." "It's not our fault she falls asleep at the crack of 9. I thought that gallon of iced tea she drank at dinner would surely keep her going," said Kim. "Land Ahoy," said Doris as she beached her canoe then reached to help with Kim and Shauna's. "Judy, hey Judy!" Kim shouted. No answer. "Quit joking around. We know you're here," Kim continued. Still no answer. "Maybe she got back in the truck and fell asleep. It's been 4 minutes since she was blowing that whistle," said Shauna. The girls approached the truck warily. Just as Kim reached to grab the handle there was the faint sound of shreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee from somewhere in the woods, followed by a thumping from under the truck cap on the bed of the truck. Squeals and shouts and much hustling and grabbing of door handles followed. It was useless. The truck cab was locked!!! And Judy was nowhere to be seen.

Say WHAT?

"What did you say, Shauna?" asked Judy. "I said, let's do it again tomorrow night but I was joking!!" replied Shauna. Judy sighed heavily, "Well, that's a relief. I was afraid you were serious and we were gonna have to go back out on that Lake and my left water wing has deflated!" Kim was concentrating on the road.. "Can you see ok?" asked Doris. "Yep," answered Kim, "so long as I keep my head turned a little bit and kinda squint one eye I can see just fine!" The other girls double checked their seat belts and Judy said a little prayer for travel mercies. "It sure didn't seem to take this long when we drove TO the lake, did it?" asked Shauna, "Are you sure you didn't take a wrong turn somewhere?" "Well," responded Kim, "I was watching my compass and I am just reversing how I came in." Knowing the length of Kim's memory, the group sent up another prayer and Doris sat up a little straighter and peered intently out the window. After a few minutes, she said, " None of this looks familiar to me. Even being dark, I thought the Lake was on our right when we pulled in and now I don't even see the Lake." "I'm sure," said Kim, "We are on the right road. See! There is the dead opossum we joked about taking home for dinner!" "That was a dead 'possum, but it was in the lane we are in and the one we saw was also in the lane we were in at the time which means that 'possum is not the first one we saw!" pointed out Shauna, "We ARE lost!" "No. We are not lost," Kim said quickly, "We're just taking the scenic route!! Maybe if I drove back to the Lake we could get our bearings and compass readings. I think that's what I'll do." Nobody argued. Judy mumbled a little bit but the others thought she might just be talking in her sleep. The next place Kim saw where she could turn around she pulled in and then backed out into the road to turn around. Just as she did a vehicle came out of nowhere and with horn blaring blew past the girls. "HEY!!! Did you guys see that?? They almost HIT MY TRUCK!. I am gonna chase them down and give them a piece of my mind!!" said Kim. "You are NOT gonna chase anybody anywhere. You are going to drive back to the Lake so we can figure out how to get back to our cabin," Shuana said very slowly. "Are we there yet?" came Judy's voice, "I have to pee." "Not quite," answered Kim, "Do you want out here?" "No, no, I'll just wait," came from Judy, "But hurry!" With that Kim sped along towards the Lake as they discussed the car that almost hit them. They finally concluded that it must be some other younger campers who just didn't know any better. That led into tales of their younger years and in no time at all they had arrived at the lake. "Anybody up for one more turn about the lake, since we're already here?" queried Shauna.